I had a previous entry about self hate and all that bullshit but deleted it, hopefully before anyone read it. In its place I wish to say a few things:

I think it is time I've grown up and some letting people emotionally manipulate me. I'm not merely 'existing' as a friend so kindly said. I am alive, and living. I am not some husk of a human because I don't find enjoyment in sex and drinking. This same friend also told me that at any point I seem hesitant and cautious about my presence. Look, I may have social anxiety but I am not some shy shrinking violet. I make myself known.

I cannot believe I let myself become even more depressed over this bullshit. I am who I am, and while I'm in a bit of a rough patch, I'll fucking work it out. But I don't need people telling me that I'm not living. I am living. Every goddamn day.

To say the least, its time I confront a few people about the shit they do to me.